Aug

4

Song in Plaster: Department of Eagles, “Phantom Other”

Filed Under Updates 

It's a metaphor, right?

Two former roommates meet at a class reunion. One of them works as a sales rep for Walgreen and the other is a physicist working on the Large Hadron Collider.

Chris: So you’re working on that thing? That’s amazing. Is it going create a black-hole and kill us all? (Laughs)

Lance does not react.

Lance: No, that’s impossible. There’s no way that anything like that could happen. We’re looking for other dimensions.

Chris: Okay. Sure, sure. So, how’s everything going?

Lance: Actually, not terribly well. When we turn it on we get what’s called a quench.

Chris: Yeah, right. Okay, I’ll bite. What’s a quench?

Lance: It’s when a bad solder causes our cables to heat up and lose their superconductivity.

Chris: I hear you, I hear you. Isn’t that what Viagra’s for? (Laughs) Am I right?

Lance does not react. Chris goes on.

Chris: So, Lance. The guys you’re working with? They’re pretty smart, right?

Lance: The best physicists living, and physicists are the smartest kinds of scientists.

Chris: Exactly. I always say that. But you guys aren’t the best solderers living.

Lance shifts on his feet.

Lance: Well, we’re talking about thousands and thousands of minute solders. Also, we don’t do them. We have engineers, and they’re definitely some of the best solderers living.

Chris: Fair enough. But they still didn’t get all of those connections exactly right?

Lance: Well . . .

Chris: It actually seems like they’re getting them a little bit wrong.

Lance: Well, we don’t know exactly why this is happening. It’s a little mysterious.

Chris: Mysterious? As someone who likes not being sucked into a black-hole, this makes me a little nervous

Lance: There’s no way that can happen.

Chris: You’re sure?

Lance: I’m absolutely sure. We’re looking for other dimensions. The theories all suggest . . .

Chris: And you’re testing your theories with the LHC? Why?

Lance: To see if they’re correct.

Chris: Because you’re not sure.

Lance: I’m going to have another Sangria.

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MP3: Department of Eagles - “Phantom Other”

- Flann O’Rion doesn’t know anything about physics or the Large Hadron Collider, lives in Eugene, Oregon, and thinks that both characters in this story (and their interactions) are unlikely. Still, he argues, they really don’t know.

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